Why is it so Hard to Communicate with the Teacher?
Improving parent communication is a goal for every elementary school. Teachers know they should do more of it, but many of them are struggling to keep their heads above water.  Teaching (and teaching well) is a very, very hard job.  It can be overwhelming, especially for new teachers.  That said, you should be able to talk to your child’s teacher and they should be happy to talk to you - but you might have to initiate the conversation.

Methods of Communication
The way in which you attempt to talk to the teacher matters. Don’t try to initiate a conversation before or during class - even if they act gracious, that’s a very difficult time to talk. Try writing a note, sending an email or calling. Realize also that schools are often inefficient - sometimes voice mail doesn’t work or the email server is down. Be patient.

Build Rapport
Talking to parents can be scary. Try to build some rapport before you raise any concerns. Compliment the positive and ask how you can help. If you come out of the gates with accusations or criticism, you’ll get nowhere. School administrators support and protect their teachers. If you can build a positive relationship with the teacher, you’ll have much more leverage.

Bringing up a Concern
It’s almost always better to find out some more information before you raise concerns with the teacher or administrator.  For example, maybe you’re concerned because your child was assigned detention or some other discipline action. Your first course of action should be understanding the discipline system. What were the steps taken before the detention (and were you alerted at that point?). What is the child’s behavior history?  Sometimes the parents aren’t involved until the last, most serious consequences and they are very surprised. If you want to be more closely involved, set up a system with the teacher for frequent communication. The same is true for many academic concerns. If your child receives a lower grade than you expect, find out more about the curriculum. Do you know what grade-level work looks like? Should a second grader be able to read “chapter books”? Should a kindergartner be able to write paragraphs? Teachers should give you this information, but if they don’t you’ll have to ask.